Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
