i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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