It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
