Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
