cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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