Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
