dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
