To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My dick has a subreddit
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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