I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
