were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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