if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
