Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
