they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
