And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
