He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
