WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
