oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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