i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
