Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
