just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
