girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
