in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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