Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
