ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
As shirtless as possible
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
