How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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