Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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