Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
