the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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