i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
