did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
