Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
