You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
