we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
