Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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