I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
