My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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