i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
