i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
