Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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