break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
