I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
