i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
