Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
