btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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