when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
