are you still at the devil's house?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
