I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
