Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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