at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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