Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
