Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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